Jun 12, 2010

at the airport

have been sick for weeks, months and years- or so it seems, at least.
but while i haven`t been posting, because i simply wasn`t up for it, i haven`t laid my plans to rest, not at all.
have been reading books about the fear of flying, have had long talks with friends and therapists who specialise on phobies and today i went to the airport with my partner to have my first look at what i have to expect this summer if we really, really book this flight.
my physical reaction caught me by surprise: the air in the main hall was simply awful, felt as if i couldn`t breathe properly before i even got near a plane.
then saw a plane that was being fuelled, the gangway being fastened to the plane.
all that jazz. my palms started to sweat, i felt as if i was going to faint, totally sick and dizzy.
but then i looked at the other people who were walking around. most of them looked quite relaxed and happy, some of them tired, but i spotted noone who looked even slightly as panicky as i felt. somehow that calmed me down. i took a good look at crews and pilots and everyone who was doing their job there and suddenly it all felt a little bit more normal.
have to decide this weekend whether to book the flight berlin-glasgow. two hours of my life. two short, long hours of my life. my son would love to go. can i do this for him, if not for me?

would you all be so kind as to tell me about your feelings concerning flying? about your experiences ( hopefully great ones:) )?
i would be really thankful.

2 comments:

aimee said...

hi, anja - i find it so interesting that the same experience can have such different effects. i love flying, and at one point it made me feel safer than being on the ground, so much that i took a job that required me to travel during the weeks, and instead of going home on the weekends i got on planes and went somewhere else. so i understand your fear in reverse. i'm proud of you for trying to tackle it. and i hope you're taking care of yourself. xo aimee

claire said...

i also love flying. i grew up in a airline family - both my parents worked in the industry and it was such a bonus because i got super cheap travel all my life. i don't think a year has gone by that i have not flown overseas at least once. most often now i complain about it all :) but that moment just as the plane takes off, will always be one of my favourite feelings of all time. even thinking about it makes me giddy.

my best friend was just over here from australia where he has been stuck for the past 10 years with a fear of flying. i'm not sure what finally made him just do it but i'm so glad he did.

he left just recently and he had a few rough days leading up to the flight, but you can't stop the forward, he did it, he survived, and now he's living in tokyo.

i hope one day you get a thrill from flying!