but while i haven`t been posting, because i simply wasn`t up for it, i haven`t laid my plans to rest, not at all.
have been reading books about the fear of flying, have had long talks with friends and therapists who specialise on phobies and today i went to the airport with my partner to have my first look at what i have to expect this summer if we really, really book this flight.
my physical reaction caught me by surprise: the air in the main hall was simply awful, felt as if i couldn`t breathe properly before i even got near a plane.
then saw a plane that was being fuelled, the gangway being fastened to the plane.
all that jazz. my palms started to sweat, i felt as if i was going to faint, totally sick and dizzy.
but then i looked at the other people who were walking around. most of them looked quite relaxed and happy, some of them tired, but i spotted noone who looked even slightly as panicky as i felt. somehow that calmed me down. i took a good look at crews and pilots and everyone who was doing their job there and suddenly it all felt a little bit more normal.
have to decide this weekend whether to book the flight berlin-glasgow. two hours of my life. two short, long hours of my life. my son would love to go. can i do this for him, if not for me?
would you all be so kind as to tell me about your feelings concerning flying? about your experiences ( hopefully great ones:) )?
i would be really thankful.