Apr 11, 2010

day 2: mission (im)possible- expectations&obstacles


claustrophobia is something that happens in your head and then slowly takes over your whole body. your hearts start racing, you start to hyperventilate, you feel as if you`re going to have a heart attack, suffocate and die on the spot.
as a friend of mine put it very bluntly a while ago when we were talking about planes: " the fear of flying is the fear of dying. " that made me so angry at the time even more so as i suddenly realised that he was right. as simple as it sounds, it is true.
"uh yeah ", you might say now, " this is ridiculous. almost everyone is scared of dying but not everyone has phobias." also true.
so where do i go from here? if i know, that my mind is playing tricks on me, that somehow my mind and my body have learnt to play tricks on me, how do i untrick myself, how do i "unlearn"?
one of the obstacles during the last few years in confronting my fears has been the condition my body was/ is in. i simply cannot and will not be able to force myself to do the whole confrontational therapy shennanigans again. so i have to find other ways, get creative, find new tricks.
every monday i will give myself a prompt and i`d be very happy if you like to join me.
i do not expect to be " healed " during these four months, but i am hoping for a different mindset, good influences and fun ideas.
if i can get on a plane this summer that of course would be the greatest challenge of all.
like i read yesterday " not without fear, but in spite of it. "



1 comment:

aimee said...

writing is excellent therapy - i hope that it helps you to work through your feelings, and maybe it will even open the doorway to others who face the same challenges. big hug and much luck to you! xo